It’s the start of a new year, and, for many, it’s the beginning of health-focused resolutions. January often sees an uptick in gym memberships and cleaner eating goals. It’s a detox month after the gluttony of the holidays. Leave it to horror to highlight the worst-case scenario for fitness enthusiasts, which also softens the blow for broken or unkept new year’s resolutions.
This week’s streaming picks are dedicated to the horror movies that showcase why health fads might not be all they’re cracked up to be. Besides, the best way to burn calories is by watching horror. As always, here’s where you can stream them this week.
Body Melt – Tubi, Vudu
A subset of body horror is melt horror, a specific flavor of genre films where, expectedly, the flesh melts, oozes, and dissolves into goo. In other words, watch on an empty stomach. Body Melt is an Australian horror-comedy that sees a community unknowingly used as guinea pigs for a new dietary supplement. Too bad it causes rapid decomposition and excruciating death. It’s as over the top as it is oozy and as zany as it is ultra-gory. If you love Peter Jackson’s early splatter works, then you’ll love this.
Death Spa – Vudu
Also known as Witch Bitch in Europe, this wacky ‘80s horror movie aims at the decade’s fitness craze in the most entertaining way. Michael Evans (William Bumiller) owns and runs a high-tech health club, but it soon becomes plagued by a series of freak accidents and bizarre deaths. It turns out his deceased wife holds a massive grudge and has taken to possessing the facility and gym equipment to torment Michael from beyond the grave.
Dumplings – AMC+
Beware of any food item promising to restore youth, especially if it’s an item not typically associated with health. Former actress Mrs. Li discovers her husband is having an affair with a much younger woman and seeks aid from Aunt Mei, a woman known for her rejuvenating dumplings. Of course, Mei’s dumplings give wonderous results thanks to a gruesome secret ingredient. It’s the feature-length adaptation from Fruit Chan’s Three Extremes anthology segment, which means a double helping of icky miracle food preparation with variations.
Stephen King’s Thinner – Epix, Hulu, Paramount+
An obsession with losing weight can go too far and become unhealthy, especially if it’s forced externally. Billy Halleck is a successful but obese lawyer, and his wife Heidi constantly tries to push him to overcome his food obsession and lose weight. She goes as far as performing sexual favors while Billy’s driving to persuade him to diet, causing a fatal accident in the process. An act of perjury and injustice lands Billy on the receiving end of a curse, and he begins rapidly losing weight to an alarming degree. His cohorts get it worse. Thinner serves as a solid reminder that it’s what’s on the inside that matters most, and Billy’s got a rotten center.
The Stuff – AMC+, Shudder, Tubi
Are you eating it, or is it eating you? The eponymous Stuff is a marshmallow/yogurt-like substance that bubbles up from the soil and gets marketed as a no-calorie treat. It’s the latest craze. The only problem is that The Stuff happens to be a parasite that turns its consumer into a zombie-like creature. Though the commentary and consumerism of junk food are thinly veiled, it’s endearingly goofy and funny. Leave it to director Larry Cohen and lead Michael Moriarty to bring the quirkiness.