Not many horror films truly scare me these days. But alien horror? Even the ones substandard to most send me into a fear frenzy. That’s why I’m taking a deep dive into the sub-genre.
Welcome to Aliens Scare Me. A look into alien horror films on a case by case basis.
This month we’re probing deep into action/sci-fi territory with 1990’s Dark Angel; or depending on where you find it, I Come In Peace, starring the great Dolph Lundgren.
What It’s About
Rogue cop Jack Caine (Lundgren) has his partner killed by a gang of old white men called “The White Boys” (dead serious) who are subsequently murdered by a mysterious force using what appears to be a CD Rom disc as a weapon (still serious). While investigating, Jack and his new partner by force, Special Agent Arwood (Brian Benben), come across an gigantic alien (Matthias Hues) who looks like some sort of mix between The Undertaker and Mortal Kombat’s Raiden. Let me put it this way… he makes Dolph Lundgren look small.
While trying to survive these encounters with Bad Alien, the two encounter a Good Alien sent to stop it, played by none other than College Sports Announcer Jay Bilas (again, I’m not lying). While on his death bed, Good Alien informs them that on their planet they use what we call endorphins as recreational drugs. Bad Alien is here to harvest us and our endorphins on the cheap; if he goes back and tells his endorphin-hooked alien friends about us, they’ll all come here and wipe us out. Good Alien then self destructs and explodes Predator style and Jack knows what has to be done: kill the Bad Alien and save the human race. This is all real. I promise.
Why It’s Scary
There are multiple scenes in Dark Angel where we watch Bad Alien harvest folks for their endorphins. The process involves him exploding into your general vicinity before body slamming you, ripping off your shirt and saying “I come in peace” as he shoots a Scorpion-like talon into your chest. He then makes crazy eyes at you and either smiles or grimaces while this talon sucks your endorphins (which are a white, milky substance, in case you were curious) into the Fitbit on his wrist. Between this and the killer compact disc he shoots out of his other arm band, Bad Alien would make for a pretty gnarly Cenobite if we’re being honest.
The human milking moments aside, Dark Angel is more of an action film with some wild ideas in the vein of Chuck Norris classic Silent Rage. So, the alien fear comes from just how plausible this batshit scenario is. What if the aliens realized they could get high on our brains, man? What if all this abducting and probing leads to the ultimate discovery that they can get high as shit on our happiness? You think that even if some of them are nice aliens they won’t rationalize coming down here and drug-milking us all into extinction? This is all way too plausible for me, therefore making me even more scared of aliens than I was before.
Where It Lands
Dark Angel was an absolute treat for an ’80s and ’90s action fan that finds aliens fascinating. You’ve got your slasher elements in the freaky ass way Matthias Hues takes down his victims. Your action fix in the WWE style throwdowns between him and Dolph Lundgren (sweetest roundhouse kick in the business). And even some buddy-cop comedy gold for good measure.
This genre hodgepodge makes sense when you realize Director Craig Baxley was not only the stunt coordinator for Predator but also directed Stephen King adaptations like Storm of the Century and Rose Red. Which explains why as unbelievably stupid as the explanation of Dark Angel sounds, the movie is shockingly well made.
It’s a hidden gem for action, horror, and sci-fi fans alike.
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