‘Tis the season for haunt enthusiasts! Whether it’s frequenting a highly produced setup like Universal’s Halloween Horror Nights or visiting much smaller local scare-house establishments, October gets most people lit for standing in long lines to get some real-life spooky jump scares. But if you want to experience the fun without leaving the comfort of your home, Breaking Glass Pictures has you covered with the release of Hayride to Hell, directed by Dan Lantz (Alice and the Vampire Queen) and starring two horror icons—Bill Moseley (Texas Chainsaw Massacre II, The Devil’s Rejects) and Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th & Hatchet franchises).
Farmer Sam (Moseley) is attempting to enjoy another fun harvest season hosting a haunted hayride and selling harvest goods on his family farm in Willis County, so he can make an honest living. But not everyone has Halloween season hype; some are more interested in shutting down his farm due to bank loans or simply just not liking the super sweet small business owner. Or probably because this town just seems like it’s infested with insufferable assholes.
Led by Sherrif Jubel (Hodder), the well-to-do local elected officials attempt to close down Sam’s farm, even going as far as trying to kill him (accidentally), but luckily only send him to the hospital instead of the grave. Sam does not take this attack lying down, literally, and constructs a plan for vengeance against his enemies to keep his family’s legacy farm operational.
The land has been in his family forever, so he’s doing whatever he can to keep that ownership intact. Plus, he’s literally done nothing to bring this type of nuclear heat on him. Told you, this town has more assholes than a proctologist sees in a week. Like the aptly named Karen (Denise Parella, Sacrum Vindictae) and her scummy injury lawyer hubby Dick Singleton (Jared Delaney, Mare of Easttown), who goes hard in the paint with catchphrases like “Give me a call and ask for ‘Dick’” and “If you don’t have Richard Singleton on your side, you ain’t got ‘Dick.'”
But Sam’s not alone in his quest for vengeance, with both family and some local friendly allies assisting in his cause. His loyal, reliable backup team is spearheaded by Budge (Cedric Casimiro) who proves you most certainly do not want to fuck with Belize.
From a high-level standpoint, Hayride to Hell is a “haunted hayride-gone-real” film. But this film differentiates itself by flipping the script and having the murderers be the legit good guys. Not anti-heroes or blurring the lines or any bs like that. You will be rooting for the deaths of the townsfolk, who are well established as the baddies and deserve the punishment they are about to receive.
This film is actually more fun and interesting than it has any right to be. That is mostly credited to Bill Moseley, being the national treasure that he is and completely leaning into the role. And it’s always cool to see him show off his protagonist acumen rather than being relegated to playing a deranged psychopath. Even though we all always love him for it when he does.
Another anecdote to help enjoy this film is its backstory. This film was co-written (along with Kristina Chadwick) and executive produced by Willisbrook Farm/Sugartown Strawberries owner “Farmer Bob” Robert Lange in Malvern, PA, with the story (extremely) loosely inspired by his own struggles as a small business owner and the local politics he has dealt with. In fact, a major reason Lange made this film was to save parts of his farm from being sold in the future due to not having any heirs, according to a 2022 WHYY article. Kind of like the character Sam with art imitating life and all that good stuff.
Hayride to Hell is ultra low-budget, made apparent by the lack of gore, but it’s competently made with a perfect length running time. It’s listed as a horror-comedy and it’s light-hearted considering the plot, so don’t go in expecting a serious haunt-gone-wrong flick like Hell House LLC. Plus, there’s a character named Pumpkin Claus, who gives out Halloween pumpkins to good girls and boys, so that alone warrants an extra star rating for this film. And we REALLY need this Pumpkin Claus to start becoming a thing IRL too.
Hayride to Hell is now available to watch On Demand.
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