The frightful weather outside has nothing on the family gathering in Secret Santa. Adam Marcus, who is best known for unleashing the gonzo Friday the 13th entry Jason Goes to Hell upon the world, truly outdid himself with this over-the-top Christmas horror movie. Which is saying a lot considering the events of Jason Voorhees’ sole ‘90s outing. After some time away from the genre, though, Marcus returned in 2018 with a comedy as black as coal. Christmas cynics will naturally be drawn to the promise of a family going off the deep end during the holidays. However, this seasonal shocker may prove to be too much even for the biggest of scrooges.
For many folks, Christmas is the most joyous time of the year. For April Pope (A. Leslie Kies) and other members of her family, it’s the most dreadful. The director’s own internal struggle with Christmas is channeled through April as she heads for her mother’s house with boyfriend Ty (Michael Rady) in tow. It’s like marching toward the gallows but with presents and eggnog along the way. Yet while everyone else braces themselves for another helping of torturous togetherness and the matriarch’s infamous “darts” — a euphemism for her pointed and often devastating criticisms — a certain someone in this wacky clan has come up with a new family activity. One that will bring new meaning to the phrase “surviving the holidays.”
Image: A bloodied Penny approaches an unaware April from behind.
Secret Santa takes average neuroses to the next level as April and her siblings endure their mother’s own unique brand of unmaternal behavior. Shari, played by Marcus’ wife and co-writer Debra Sullivan, earns her reputation as a malicious parent. Outsider Ty is quick to learn the ill reputation is indeed built on fact as he watches the now divorced Mrs. Pope in action. She reflexively shoots one daughter up with darts, publicly body-shames another, and completes her son’s every sentence because she can’t tolerate his stutter. Sullivan is saddled with the most vile character of the whole lot, but her performance is perfect. She brings dimension even to an obvious exaggeration of momzillas.
The average Christmas horror movie would be more inclined to summon a mythological monster or masked killer to the festivities, but Marcus and Sullivan see family as the greatest threat to the holidays. The filmmakers apparently tapped into their own horror stories about Christmas and family reunions as they throw every awful relative stereotype at the screen. Apart from the domineering and mean-as-hell mother, there is the bitter ex-spouse who shows up uninvited, the resentful sibling whose mission is to make everyone as unhappy as they are, and the lecher whose sexual indiscretions include dipping into their own backyard (so to speak). As a bonus, Secret Santa adds in notes of homophobia, racism and classism. Essentially, it’s all the bigotries you can imagine coming into play at a family get-together as maladjusted as this one.
You might ask how this dark and twisted soap opera can be qualified as overt horror — surely a few people would agree that dealing with their family during the holidays is just as terrifying as a Krampus or an ax-wielding Santa Claus — but the genre label is evident when multiple characters display aggression. Admittedly, most everyone is loathsome to begin with; examples include April’s sister Penny (Ryan Leigh Seaton) hating her guts like it’s a full-time job, and Shari quietly fuming over her own sister (Pat Destro) hooking up with her ex (John Gilbert). Those prior animosities transform into motives for murder when something causes everyone to become overheated (both physically and emotionally). Believe it or not, the Popes and their guests were being pleasant (or their idea of pleasant) before this turning point.
Image: Penny gets her revenge as she literally stabs her mother in the back while April watches.
Secret Santa dashes into spectacle territory following a disastrous round of the movie’s titular tradition. Swapping gifts sent from mystery senders ultimately leads the characters into their almost supernatural frenzies. This nutso scene, the first of several especially violent set pieces, is the unmistakable start of the movie’s grisly metaphor for being trapped with family. The flying and unrelenting dialogue of earlier doesn’t come to a complete stop, although now that’s been topped off with these life-or-death struggles between specific members of the rapidly dwindling Pope bunch. That mysterious force behind everyone’s sudden mood shift is also compelling them to spew horrible and hurtful truths.
Secret Santa is a devilishly subversive gift of indie Christmas horror. That micro-budget can be distracting at times; digitally created bloodletting is always egregious and should be avoided. Offsetting the thrifty production values, though, are performances that upgrade the whole affair. Each actor is committed to their role and having a blast with it. The spry script keeps the audience on their toes as well. As far as humor goes, this movie neither plays nice nor does it go easy on anyone. This equal-opportunity offending story of one truly hellish Christmas celebration and its abhorrent participants is, at the very least, never dull. Not everyone will find amusement here, but those who love witnessing the holidays’ dark side come out in full force should feel like a kid on Christmas morning.
Secret Santa is now streaming on SCREAMBOX!
Image: April lies on the ground with all those who didn’t survive this killer Christmas party.
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