The House of No Return was originally published in October 1994 (Special Edition Spine #1). The series adaptation aired on Saturday, September 13, 1997 (runtime: 22 minutes).
Collecting is rooted deep in my marrow and for that I blame Goosebumps. Their numbered spines and matching artwork demand to be catalogued in order and to completion, and from the moment I nabbed a Goosebumps book of my very own, I was determined to finish the set.
Of course, as is the case with any collection, the series progressed and evolved. Goosebumps splintered into merchandise, collectables and various other series. Still, across the bed sheets, pogs and action figures, it was the books I wanted most. So when the first Special Edition Goosebumps book came out and broke away from the core line, I needed to see it on my shelf.
Packaged with a flashlight to enable late-night, under-the-cover reading, Tales to Give You Goosebumps collected ten bite-sized R.L. Stine stories that contained all of the humor and horror of the franchise proper. An even breezier read than the books, it quickly became one of my bedtime favorites and was a source of several ghost stories I would retool for my own use at sleepovers.
The opening story in the book is The House of No Return and it was also the first short to be adapted into an episode of the television series in its third season. Concerning a club called Danger Incorporated, the story revolves around three friends and their misguided attempts to force the new kid in town to spend an hour of Halloween night in a haunted house. The story is lean and spooky with an ending that packs an appropriately devilish punch. Unlike most adaptations, the brisk length of the text means that little to nothing is excised in its television debut, rather expanded upon, fleshing out the lore and serving both stories in the long run.
A multitude of other Goosebumps spin off series would come out over the following years and are still coming out to this day, ensuring that all of the life-long collectors out there always have something similarly spooky to look forward to. But in style, scope and scares, few feel as deeply connected to the original run of books as the six Tales to Give You Goosebumps.
At a length perfectly suited for the television show’s runtime, The House of No Return, captures what works about the collection and stands as one of the screen’s most accurate Goosebumps adaptations. Moreover, it opened up a path to other facets of the Stine universe not yet plumbed by the series, whether that was additional short stories, original content or diving into Goosebumps Series 2000.
The Story
Robbie, Nathan and Lori are part of a club: Danger Incorporated. Anyone can join, so long as they spend one hour in the house on Willow Hill. There’s only one catch, well, two, if you count both ghosts. Now it’s up to Chris, the new kid in town, to gather the courage to face what dwells in the old house, unless he’s too afraid.
And, even if he is, the kids of Danger Incorporated can be very motivating.
The House of No Return is the first of ten stories found in the first edition of Tales to Give You Goosebumps which was released in October of 1994. The story is quick and to the point, bathed in Halloween atmosphere and designed with comeuppance in mind in the vein of the classic EC Comics of its heritage. One of the first Goosebumps spin off books to hit the shelves, it quickly proved that the franchise was more than capable of spanning many creative forms.
The Adaptation
An old, derelict house presides over the opening of both the television adaptation and the story itself. Shades of the book Welcome to Dead House arise as the text describes its gnarled trees and landscape where no grass would grow. Robbie, the narrator, describes Danger Club and its challenge to all prospective members to spend one hour in the haunted house on Willow Hill. That’s when a boy named Doug bursts out of the house after only ten minutes, screaming and ranting, revealing that he does not have what it takes to become a member.
The episode depicts the same scene, adding in playful dialogue for the three members of Danger Inc., Robbie, Nathan and Lori. Here, the three venture toward the house to peek in on Doug, who appears pounding on the door just as they approach. The slightly elongated scene crafts more atmosphere and more acutely establishes that even the kids of Danger Inc. are afraid of the place.
The short story consists mostly of Robbie’s thoughts. He pontificates about finding someone new for their club and reaches Chris as a conclusion. He informs the reader that Chris is new in town, is afraid of scary movies and even believed a monster lived under his bed. In the episode, these things are shown, Chris being introduced after the opening sequence interacting with his mother, who is absent on the page. She tells him to explore the new town and make new friends. The show even makes a point to show that he bargains with her for a cheeseburger, sparking her to respond that he’s always making deals.
In both versions, the three protagonists are portrayed as off-putting and pushy, essentially bullying Chris in the story to spend the time in the house despite his clear disinterest. In the book, Halloween is approaching and the kids of Danger Inc. want to do something exciting, sparking them to formulate a plan that will force Chris into the house and therefore into their club. On Halloween night, dressed as a monster, a vampire and Freddy Krueger, complete with razor nails, they invite Chris trick or treating. After guiding him to the house, the three force him inside against his will.
In the episode, Chris interacts with the three more organically, most of his quirks emerging through conversation, including his clear distaste for all things horror. In challenging him to stay in the house, they reveal the history of its haunting, something the book opts to ignore.
The kids tell of a young couple who built their dream house to raise their child in. Interspersed with quick flashbacks of shadow and wordless images of the couple living in the house, the story goes that one day their child fell through a weak spot in the floor and died, causing the couple to slowly go mad. Months passed and eventually the police discovered the couple dead. After that, children in the town began to disappear. Kidnapped, perhaps, by the ghosts of the grief-stricken parents looking for a child of their own.
Disappointingly, the episode excises the Halloween element. Instead of trick or treating, the kids of Danger Incorporated invite Chris to the mall. However, in keeping with the page, the three take him to the house on Willow Hill instead, forcing him inside to teach him a lesson about bravery.
Since there is not much story left to be told on the page, the episode embellishes some here, calling back to its opening as Chris explores the house. Leaning into the ghostly atmosphere, Chris breaks something and a broom levitates to sweep up the pieces into a floating dustpan. The fun continues as Chris stumbles into a large cuckoo bird (the same featured in the previous Goosebumps episode and book The Cuckoo Clock of Doom) that squawks, “Beware the house of no return!” A bat flies in his face and finally he hears the words, “We’re here!” and screams.
On the page Robbie, Nathan and Lori wait. An hour passes, but no Chris. Finally, they venture inside, giving readers their first glimpse of the enormous space. In the show, the three also venture into the house after waiting the full hour. After breaking through the door, the kids see that it’s somehow boarded up again and are met with two ghosts.
The book captures the effect and appearance of the ghosts with far greater atmosphere as they manifest as a cluster of lights that look like fireflies at the top of the stairs. The light floats down as a shimmering cloud and engulfs the three kids before transforming into a ghostly man and woman with burning red eyes. In the show, the ghosts’ voices sound first, “we’re coming down!” After that, they are immediately visible as a man and a woman, white, gray and blue with sunken features, descending the stairs.
Both conclude the same, albeit the show with slightly more exposition. In each case, the ghosts reveal that Chris escaped out the back door, promising that three children would appear in his stead. In the show, the backstory about the couple’s lost child comes into play, providing motivation for the ghost’s dastardly desires and Chris’s penchant for making deals holds narrative footing. In the end, both stories leave Danger Incorporated in a position of hopelessness and terror, a darkly twisted conclusion given the cause they so vehemently claimed to represent.
Final Thoughts
What started as a handful of Goosebumps books on a makeshift rack in my bedroom growing up, has evolved into a full sized book case dedicated to R.L. Stine. Many titles line the shelves, spanning multiple mediums, including VHS tapes, board games and art books, but at the top, serving as the gateway to all that follows, are sixty two books that, for me, started it all. And just beside Monster Blood IV sits the first of six Tales to Give You Goosebumps books— as integral to the original set as any that came before them.
Tales to Give You Goosebumps offered an easy entry point into the world of Goosebumps. It distilled the compelling subject matter, simplicity of presentation and relatable characters of the books into shorts that managed to live up to the reputations of their longer counterparts. Like the original Goosebumps series, it opened with a frightening house and the secrets it might hold, promising fun, fear and surprises along the way as the best stories of its kind always deliver.
The adaptation fits the subject matter better than most episodes of the series, capturing the details in a way that a standard episode isn’t able to while infusing characterization and backstory that further broadens the tale’s effectiveness. If there’s a misstep on screen, it’s abandoning the trappings of Halloween which would have only further solidified it as a series best and bolstered the atmosphere on display. Regardless, The House of No Return is a fun ghost story where the “heroes” get what’s coming to them in the end, represented on the page and the screen in a complimentary fashion that begs revisiting in both formats.
Collecting is as much about access to the things you love as it is about celebrating the thing itself. With every fresh addition of the series at large, there are more opportunities for others like me to discover it. Somewhere there’s a kid who hasn’t stumbled onto their favorite book series yet. The series that will consume their imaginations and, who knows, maybe even one that they’ll want on their shelf, even though an app might suffice. Sometimes when you love something, when it’s impacted you and changed the course of your artistic tastes, you just can’t help but want to see its lumpy lettering staring back at you from the bookcase.
Just thinking about it, it’s enough to give you— well, you get the point.
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