When I was a kid, a family friend gifted me the Jurassic Park VHS. The cover was black, shiny, stamped with the iconic image of the T-rex skeleton designed by Chipp Kid. It was love at first watch; dinosaurs became my everything. I joined the masses of those caught in the ‘90s dinosaur renaissance, the period that brought us We’re Back!, The Land Before Time franchise, Tammy and the T-Rex, Theodore Rex and then some. Among the bunch included the Prehysteria trilogy, the first being the inaugural release under Moonbeam Entertainment. It was the family-oriented sub-brand of Charles Band’s Full Moon Entertainment, where they focused on content without their signature hard edge, inspired by favorites The Neverending Story, Jason and the Argonauts, and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Prehysteria! follows the misadventures of miniature dinosaurs named after pop musicians: Elvis the T-rex, Paula the Brachiosaurus, Jagger the Stegosaurus, Hammer the Chasmosaurus and Madonna the Geosternbergia. The story was conceived by Pete Von Sholly, known for his work as the storyboard artist for Mars Attacks!, Darkman, Nightmare on Elm Street III and IV, and The Shawshank Redemption. The dinosaur models were designed by Andrea Von Sholly, who referenced their celebrity personas during the creation process. In Video Zone, the behind the scenes featurette included on Moonbeam’s VHS releases, she explains, “For instance, Madonna. I was thinking of the actress, the movie star, when I designed [the Geosternbergia], and made her a little more flashy.”
It was a tedious process to bring them to life, an endeavor led by David Allen Productions and Mark Rappaport in special effects. On set, each dinosaur had its duplicate and triplicate to suit the needs of each scene, whether they were radio or puppeteer operated. At times, up to 18 puppeteers would be present as they hid six feet of cable. When the character Monica has Madonna on her shoulder, a vest was worn where motors were underneath the costume.
The film was released in hopes to ride off the anticipated success of Jurassic Park, and it found its own fortune in the homes of many. It gained over $100,000,000 in rental sales, prompting a second and third installment, making it one of the biggest direct to video releases. I decided to re-watch the Prehysteria trilogy to see how this trek of nostalgia would fare.
Prehysteria! (1993)
Directors: Albert Band & Charles Band
Directed by the father-son team, we are thrust into the world by meeting money hungry con-artist Rico Sarno (Stephen Lee). He steals five pygmy dinosaur eggs from a sacred tomb in South America, hiding them in his generic ice chest cooler. After traveling back to his California gift shop, a visiting family and their dog accidentally grab the cooler with the eggs since they own the same one.
The son Jerry (Austin O’Brien) is the first to discover the dinosaurs when they hatch in their house, and the escapades follow. His sister Monica (Samantha Mills) is a caricature of a teen girl, as she groans, “Can you believe my brother is listening to Elvis? He’s living in the Stone Age!” She also has a teen boyfriend, a relationship made bizarre from the fact that he’s a personification of the “How do you do, fellow kids?” meme of Steve Buscemi, and speaks like he was plucked out of Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Their father, Frank (Brett Cullen) is awkward and earnest, as he grieves from the loss of his wife, but it is not a heavy theme in the film. He finds romance with Vicki (Colleen Morris), who works in Rico’s gift shop.
The story revolves around them protecting the dinosaurs from being captured, and is quite predictable with cheesy dialogue galore, but it’s fun… particularly in rooting for Rico to fail. If you ever wondered if dinosaurs could boogie, there’s a sequence where you get to witness just that, to the tune of “Gonna Rock Godzilla.”
Prehysteria! 2 (1994)
Director: Albert Band
Blending the styles of Richie Rich and Problem Child, Albert Band now directs solo as we follow Brendon (Kevin Connors), the mischievous son of a neglectful father, Mr. Wellington (Dean Scofield). Brendon’s bedroom is every kid’s dream. It’s complete with a bed slide, trampoline, arcade machines and pool table… but of course, all the gifts in the world do not replace the attention he desires from his father.
To cure his boredom, Brendon plays pranks on their mansion’s staff, Japanese chef Hiro (Michael Hagiwara) and Russian gardener Ivan (Greg Lewis), who force foreign accents, and Miss Winters (Bettye Ackerman), the dictatorial governess who demands he be sent off to military school. Cue the dinosaurs, who are accidentally shipped in a raisin crate and are found by Brendon when he’s hiding from bullies. He befriends Noami (Jennifer Harte), a street smart girl who helps him keep the dinosaurs from being taken away. An extermination team named Killum (Alan Palo) and Ketchum (Larry Hankin) also make an appearance as obstacles, but lack the intelligence to truly outsmart the kids. It culminates into Brendon and Noami trying to prepare a special birthday surprise for Mr. Wellington.
Overall, the adult characters are over the top with slapstick comedy gags that unfortunately don’t quite land, which detract from the potential of its storyline. Is it more ambitious than its predecessor, and one has to respect how much work went into having that come into fruition. However, one does wonder what kind of sequel it could have been if all the parts had come together differently.
Prehysteria! 3 (1995)
Director: David DeCoteau
The third and final film starts with a recap of the journey thus far, and sets us in the sphere of miniature golf and the McGregor family. Ella (Whitney Anderson) is a fanatic of golf and Scotland, so much so that she comes in and out of a Scottish-American hybrid accent, drops cultural facts from the country, and speaks to a framed portrait of Sean Connery as her confidant. Her slacker brother Heath (Dave Buzzota) works as a caddie but only cares about rock music and girls. Their father Thomas (Fred Willard) is an ex amateur golfer who forbids her to pursue the sport, leaving their mini putt course to drown in weeds, while her sculptor mother Michelle (Pam Matteson) acts as emotional support.
The dinosaurs take a noticeable back seat in this one. Instead of serving as the center of this tale, they assist Ella and her family to make their new Dino Putt business a success. The villain is her Uncle Hal (Bruce Weitz), a rich pro golfer who schemes to buy their mini putt course through any means necessary. With the help of his pink polo shirt-wearing henchmen, led by caddie Needlemeyer (Matt Letscher), he tries to sabotage them even through the lengths of an arson attempt.
With cheeky references to The Sword and the Stone, Godzilla and JFK, I find this to be the most memorable of the three. It’s elevated by the performances of the likeable Anderson, comedic timings of Willard and Weitz, and the backdrop of mini golf and dinos who cook haggis burgers.
The Prehysteria! trilogy entertained families at the height of dinomania, but are now mostly forgotten. As a child, I remember being mesmerized by the adorable dinos. They gave me permission to dream of the possibility of having them as pets or friends. “If I can dig up the right egg, it can happen,” I’d tell myself, thinking that shoveling dirt by the dumpster was an archeological goldmine. They may not conjure the same inspiration in today’s youth, as they look more appropriate for a live action Toy Story. Hearing the characters say, “They look so real!” surely elicits a different response.
That said, there’s still a sentimental quality that remains. With timeless plots, a great combination of character actors and a playfulness that is free of pretentiousness, the Prehysteria! films don’t deserve extinction from our memories. The original was given the Blu-ray treatment in 2018, and all three are now streaming for free on Tubi, making it a perfect time for a revisit.
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